I recently bought Godzilla VS Spacegodzilla (Obviously) and am attempting to watch it. Get ready.

• Despite Mogera looking like a toy, lt made me smile. We loved you Mogera.
• Oh my god, that dubbing voice. That is… awful.
• Seriously, that voice acting is horrible.
• PLOT: The Japanese decide to stick a thing on Godzilla and control him. After doing this, they can “Save the world”. But why would you need to control Godzilla to save the planet?
• WAIT WHAT MOTHRA IS FLYING IN SPACE AND TINY MOTHRA’S ARE DROPPING OUT OF HER WHAT
• And Naturally, here’s a guy dancing on a boat. Because what we really needed to explain the previous scene was a guy dancing on a boat.
• Some guys went to Monster Island. Their voices are at least tolerable, but l think l recognize them from somewhere.
• They spotted some giant crystals growing out of the ground. I will go on record to say that the crystals look pretty terrible, and flop around. This is not good.
• Japanese guy got murdered. I think.
• No wait, he’s alive. Just… grabbed by a native guy?
• Said guy just got stabbed. I have no idea why.
• WAIT WHAT. THERE WAS A SPIDER ON HIS NECK SO HE STABBED HIM. WHAT.
• So the guys on the island are from “G-Force”. I’m assuming this is some anti-Godzilla thing.
• OH MY GOD BABY GODZILLA.
• JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
• It looks ridiculous.
• 
• AHAHA!
• How are we meant to take this seriously? Look at that thing!
• MEANWHILE IN TOKYO
• Here are some guys from NASA
• Some footage shows a satalite being destroyed. It looks horrendously bad.
• A woman’s earring is glowing. I have no idea why.
• Oh, a very small Mothra is flying in a tree. It all makes sense now
• Eurgh, twin fairies. Their voices will make your ears bleed.
• Apparently Spacegodzilla wants to conquer Earth. WHY!? It’s a FUCKING SPACE DINOSAUR!
• MEANWHILE ON MONSTER ISLAND
• Some guys dig holes by throwing sand into each other’s holes.
• Oh, They’re building a landmine to knockout Godzilla. A LANDMINE FILLED WITH FUCKING TEAR GAS.
• SO they’re going to make Godzilla cry?
• EW OLD NAKED JAPANESE ASS
• DO NOT WANT
• DO NOT WANT
• Never mind here’s Spacegodzilla to interupt to gratuitous wrinkly ass.
• I can’t believe it! Spacegodzilla actually looks kind of… good?
• Moguera’s being launched to fight Spacegodzilla.
• MEANWHILE ON MONSTER ISLAND
• Some guys appear to help the other persons and engage each other with grating dialogue.
• DAT NEON ORANGE JUMPSUIT
• Moguera’s being launched. This part looks quite cool.
• For some reason Moguera flying looks really grainy.
• Oh jesus, Baby Godzilla’s back.
• Romance? In MY Godzilla movie?
• WAIT WHAT WHERE DID THAT MOTORBIKE COME FROM
• Tear gas is red apparently. Who knew?
• Oh Baby Godzilla, you dumb fuck. Walking around the landmines is too mainstream, you just go through them.
• TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2